A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.

One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Lawyer: Have you any grounds?
Polish man: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
Lawyer: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
Polish man: It made of concrete.
Lawyer: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
Polish man: No, we have carport, and not need one.
Lawyer: I mean. What are your relations like?
Polish man: All my relations still in Poland.
Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Polish man: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?
Polish man: No, I always up before her.
Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?
Polish man: No, she white.
Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?
Polish man: She going to kill me.
Lawyer: What makes you think that?
Polish man: I got proof.
Lawyer: What kind of proof?
Polish man: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
"Polish Remover"

Someone brought some candy from US.. and my Muslim friend wants to eat it.. so I checked it first whether it is halal or not.. then i found monoglyceride and diglyceride in the ingredients.. and guess what?? below are what wikipedia says about them:

"The commercial source may be either animal (cow- or hog-derived (e.g., pig)) or vegetable, derived primarily from soy bean and canola oil. They may also be synthetically produced. They are often found in bakery products, beverages, ice cream, chewing gum, shortening, whipped toppings, margarine, and confections"

So.. to my other Muslim friends.. just be careful what you are eating kay.. ^_^

source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diglyceride
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monoglyceride