A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.

One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Lawyer: Have you any grounds?
Polish man: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
Lawyer: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
Polish man: It made of concrete.
Lawyer: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
Polish man: No, we have carport, and not need one.
Lawyer: I mean. What are your relations like?
Polish man: All my relations still in Poland.
Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Polish man: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?
Polish man: No, I always up before her.
Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?
Polish man: No, she white.
Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?
Polish man: She going to kill me.
Lawyer: What makes you think that?
Polish man: I got proof.
Lawyer: What kind of proof?
Polish man: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
"Polish Remover"