Three wishes

By Aiman Shaharuddin
Received an email from a friend:

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to."

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack!"

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please highlight the text below:
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart..

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor.
 

Four Wives

By Aiman Shaharuddin
Received another interesting email:

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Moral :

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives:
  1. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
  2. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
  3. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
  4. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.
Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament.
 

Mac virus??

By Aiman Shaharuddin
Behold.. the newton virus for mac.. it's so coooool.. ^_^

 

Good question

By Aiman Shaharuddin
Got this email from a friend:

Read this question, come up with an answer and then highlight at the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right, including me.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, meets a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was simply ' amazing', very much of her dream guy, she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him.

........A few days later she killed her FIRST sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

(Give this some thought before you answer).

HIGHLIGHT:
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.

Be sure to share the test!

Also, if you answered correctly, please let me know so I can avoid you.
 

The Number 8

By Aiman Shaharuddin
  1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
  2. List 8 random facts about yourself:
  • I like to sing (but not really good at it)
  • I like to hang out with my friends (especially from vandy)
  • I have a car (black gen 2.. but i like white the most)
  • I prefer to wear jeans than to wear pants
  • I think i like to/can dance but never had a "real" dance class before
  • I lost most of my memories during high school (don't know how.. maybe it was a sad memory??)
  • I want to live in a "kampung" environment
  • I have a stage fright.. and i mean serious stage fright.. tried to cure it by doing a lot of performance.. but.. i still got it.. haha.. ^_^
  1. Tag 8 people (max) at the end of the post and list their names.
  1. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.
 

Ayam tesco = ayam katok??

By Aiman Shaharuddin
Kalau sesape yang kempunan nak makan ayam katok.. bleh la beli ayam kat tesco.. hehe.. ^_^

link: http://www.bharian.com.my/Current_News/BH/......

3 pembekal ayam tak sembelih disaman
Oleh Fatin Hafizah Mohd Shahar

KUALA LUMPUR: Timbalan Pengarah Jabatan Kebudayaan, Kesenian, Pelancongan dan Sukan, Dewan Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur (DBKL), Zainuddin Md Zin, semalam memfailkan kira-kira RM5 juta terhadap tiga pembekal dan penjual ayam, termasuk Tesco Stores (Malaya) Sdn Bhd kerana menjual ayam yang tidak disembelih.

Zainuddin, 55, menamakan Perak Duck Food Industries Sdn Bhd, CKL Marketing Sdn Bhd dan Tesco sebagai defendan pertama, kedua dan ketiga dalam saman yang difailkan menerusi Tetuan M K Othman & Co di Pejabat Pendaftaran Mahkamah Tinggi Jalan Duta, di sini.

Beliau dalam tuntutannya memohon ganti rugi khas, termasuk kos pembelian ayam, kos perbelanjaan makan dan minum bagi pertemuannya dengan wakil dari Perak Duck Food Industries Sdn Bhd dan kos bagi menghadiri pemeriksaan di Bahagian Hab Halal Jabatan Agama Islam Malaysia (Jakim) di Cyberjaya.

Selain itu, beliau juga menuntut menghadiri pemeriksaan di Persatuan Pengguna Islam (PPIM) di Keramat di sini dan kos untuk menghadiri pemeriksaan di Jabatan Agama Islam Perak di Ipoh yang semuanya bernilai RM1,375.77.

Zainuddin juga memohon defendan untuk membayar ganti rugi am, ganti rugi teruk dan ganti rugi teladan yang bernilai RM5 juta kerana defendan pertama dan kedua berlaku khianat dengan membekalkan makanan berlogo halal kepada semua umat Islam.

Di samping itu, beliau turut memohon mahkamah untuk menghalang ketiga-tiga defendan untuk menjual, mengedar, memasar atau menyebabkan produk itu berada di pasaran.

Plaintif juga meminta mahkamah mengarahkan ketiga-tiga defendan memohon maaf kepada semua umat Islam di negara ini berterusan selama tiga hari di muka hadapan akhbar utama bahasa Melayu dengan menanggung segala kos perbelanjaan.

Dalam writ saman berkenaan, beliau juga mendakwa defendan pertama gagal memastikan keadaan ayam yang dihasilkan tidak disembelih mengikut Syara’ dan tidak prihatin serta sensitif kepada kehendak umat Islam.

Defendan kedua pula didakwa secara cuai menyelia pengeluaran produk yang berlogo halal pada bungkusan itu, manakala defendan ketiga gagal melakukan sebarang pemeriksaan bagi memastikan keselamatan halal produk itu sebelum dipasarkan.

“Pada 28 Oktober tahun lalu saya membeli tiga ayam selasih di Tesco dan mendapati ayam yang dilabelkan logo halal tidak disembelih dengan betul mengikut prosedur penyembelihan.
“Sangkaan saya ternyata betul apabila PPIM mengesahkan ayam yang dibeli tidak halal kerana urat leher ayam yang disembelih itu tidak putus,” katanya.
 

Kisah nak berpoligami

By Aiman Shaharuddin
forwarded by Hikmah
____________________________________________________________________
"Abang, minta izin untuk nikah sorang lagi,"

Aliyah yang sedang melipat kain, terdiam seketika. Mungkin terkedu. Adakah pendengarannya kian kabur lantaran usianya yang kian beranjak. Adakah dialog tadi hanya dilafazkan di dalam TV, sementelah TV juga dipasang. Tapi, ahh bukanlah. TV sedang menayangkan iklan Sunsilk, mustahil sudah ada siri baru iklan Sunsilk? Dia menghela nafas panjang. Dia memandang sekali imbas wajah Asraf Mukmin, kemudian tersenyum. Meletakkan kain yang telah siap dilipat di tepi, bangun lantas menuju ke dapur. Langkahnya diatur tenang. Segelas air sejuk diteguk perlahan. Kemudian dia ke bilik Balqis, Sumayyah, Fatimah. Rutin hariannya, mencium puteri-puterinya sebelum dia masuk tidur. Dahulu, semasa puterinya kecil lagi, rutin itu dilakukan dengan suaminya. Kini, anak-anak kian beranjak remaja. Kemudian, dia menjenguk bilik putera bujangnya yang berdua, si kembar, Solehin dan Farihin.

Pengabisannya dia kembali kepada suaminya. Asraf Mukmin hanya diam membatu diri. Dia amat mengenali isterinya. Jodoh yang diatur keluarga hampir 16tahun yang lepas menghadiahkan dia sebuah keluarga yang bahagia, Aliyah adalah ikon isteri solehah. Namun, kehadiran Qistina, gadis genit yang menjawat jawatan pembantu tadbir kesetiausahaan di jabatannya benar-benar membuatkan dia lemah.

"Kau mampu Asraf, dengan gaji kau, aku rasa kau mampu untuk beri makan 2 keluarga," sokongan Hanif, teman sepejabat menguatkan lagi hujah apabila dia berdepan dengan Aliyah.

"Abang Asraf, Qis tak kisah. Qis sanggup bermadu jika itu yang ditakdirkan. Bimbinglah Qis, Qis perlukan seseorang yang mampu memimpin Qis," masih terngiang-ngiang bicara lunak Qis.

Akhir-akhir ini, panas rasanya punggung dia di rumah. Pagi-pagi, sesudah solat subuh, cepat-cepat dia bersiap untuk ke pejabat. Tidak seperti kelaziman, dia akan bersarapan berjemaah bersama isteri dan anak-anak. Aduhai, penangan Qis gadis kelahiran Bumi Kenyalang benar-benar menjerat hatinya.

"Abang, Aliyah setuju dengan permintaan Abg. Tapi, Aliyah nak berjumpa dengan wanita tu," Lembut dan tenang sayup-sayup suara isterinya. Dia tahu, Aliyah bukan seorang yang panas baran. Aliyah terlalu sempurna, baik tetapi ahh...hatinya kini sedang mengilai wanita yang jauh lebih muda.

"Bawa dia ke sini, tinggalkan dia bersama Aliyah selama 1 hari saja, boleh?" pelik benar permintaan isterinya.

Hendak dipengapakan apakah buah hatinya itu? Namun, tanpa sedar dia menganguk, tanda setuju. Sebab, dia yakin isterinya tidak akan melakukan perkara yang bukan-bukan. Dan hakikatnya dia seharusnya bersyukur. Terlalu bersyukur. Kalaulah isterinya itu wanita lain, alamatnya perang dunia meletus lah jawabnya. Melayanglah periuk belanga. Ehhh, itu zaman dulu-dulu. Zaman sekarang ni, isteri-isteri lebih bijak. Teringat dia kisah seorang tentera yang disimbah dengan asid, gara-gara menyuarakan keinginan untuk menambah cawangan lagi satu. Kecacatan seumur hidup diterima sebagai hadiah sebuah perkahwinan yang tidak sempat dilangsungkan. Dan dia, hanya senyuman daripada Aliyah.

"Apa, nak suruh Qis jumpa dengan isteri Abg," terjegil bulat mata Qis yang berwarna hijau.

"Kak Aliyah yang minta," masih lembut dia memujuk Qis.

"Biar betul, apa dia nak buat dengan Qis?"

"Takutlah Qis, silap haribulan dia bunuh Qis!" terkejut Asraf Mukmin.

"Percayalah Qis, Aliyah bukan macam tu orangnya. Abg dah lama hidup dengannya. Abg faham," Qistina mengalih pandangannya.

Mahu apakah bakal madunya berjumpa dengannya? Dia sering disogokkan dengan pelbagai cerita isteri pertama membuli isteri kedua. Heh, ini Qistina lah. Jangan haraplah jika nak membuli aku. Desis hati kecil Qistina. Hari ini genap seminggu Qistina bercuti seminggu. Seminggu jugalah dia merindu. Puas dicuba untuk menghubungi Qistina, namun tidak berjaya. Rakan serumah menyatakan mereka sendiri tidak mengetahui ke mana Qistina pergi. Genap seminggu juga peristiwa dia menghantar Qistina untuk ditemuduga oleh Aliyah. Sedangkan dia diminta oleh Aliyah bermunajat di
masjid Putra. Di masjid itu, hatinya benar-benar terusik. Sekian lamanya dia tidak menyibukkan dirinya dengan aktiviti keagamaan di masjid Putra.

Dulu, sebelum dia mengenali Qistina, saban malam dia akan bersama dengan Aliyah serta anak-anaknya, berjemaah dengan kariah masjid. Kemudian menghadiri majlis kuliah agama. Membaca AlQuran secara bertaranum itu adalah kesukaannya. Namun, lenggok Qistina melalaikannya. Haruman Qistina memudarkan bacaan taranumnya. Hatinya benar-benar sunyi. Sunyi dengan tasbih, tasmid yang sering dilagukan. Seharian di Masjid Putra, dia cuba mencari dirinya, Asraf Mukmin yang dulu. Asraf Mukmin anak Imam Kampung Seputih. Asraf Mukmin yang asyik dengan berzanji. Menitis air
matanya. Hatinya masih tertanya-tanya, apakah yang telah terjadi pada hari itu. Aliyah menunaikan tanggungjawabnya seperti biasa. Tiada kurangnya layanan Aliyah. Mulutnya seolah-olah terkunci untuk bertanya hal calon madu Aliyah.
Tit tit... sms menjengah masuk ke kantung inbox hensetnya.

"Qis minta maaf. Qis bukan pilihan terbaik utk Abg jadikan isteri. Qis tidak sehebat kak Aliyah. Qis perlu jadikan diri Qis sehebatnya utk bersama Abg," Dibawah hensetnya, ada sekeping sampul besar.

***************************************************************************

Kepada:

Asraf Mukmin,
Suami yang tersayang...

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Asraf Mukmin diburu kehairanan. Sampul berwarna cokelat yang hampir saiz dengan A4 itu dibuka perlahan.

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Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Pengasihani,
Salam sejahtera buat suami yang tercinta, moga redhaNya sentiasa mengiringi jejak langkahmu.

Abg yang dikasihi,

Genap seminggu sesi temuduga yang Aliyah jalankan pada Qistina. Terima kasih kerana Abg membawakan Aliyah seorang calon madu yang begitu cantik.

Di sini Aliyah kemukakan penilaian Aliyah.

1. Dengan ukuran badan ala-ala model, dia memang mengalahkan Aliyah yang sudah tidak nampak bentuk badan. Baju-bajunya memang mengikut peredaran zaman. Tapi, Aliyah sayangkan Abg. Aliyah tak sanggup Abg diheret ke neraka kerana menanggung dosa. sedangkan dosa Abg sendiri pun, masih belum termampu untuk dijawab di akhirat sana, apatah lagi Abg nak menggalas dosa org lain. Aliyah sayangkan Abg...

2. Aliyah ada mengajak dia memasak. Memang pandai dia masak, apatah lagi western food. Tapi, Aliyah sayangkan Abg. Aliyah tahu selera Abg hanya pada lauk pauk kampung. Tapi tak tahulah pula Aliyah kalau-kalau selera Abg sudah berubah. Tapi, Aliyah masih ingat lagi, masa kita sekeluarga singgah di sebuah restoran western food, Abg muntahkan semua makanan western food tu. Lagi satu, anak-anak kita semuanya ikut selera ayah mereka. Kesian nanti, tak makan la pula anak-anak kita. Aliyah sayangkan Abg...

3. Aliyah ada mengajak dia solat berjemaah. Kelam kabut dibuatnya. Aliyah minta dia jadi Imam. Yelah, nanti dia akan menjadi ibu pada zuriat Abg yang lahir, jadinya Aliyah harapkan dia mampu untuk mengajar anak-anak Abg nanti untuk menjadi imam dan imamah yang beriman. Tapi, kalau dia sendiri pun kelam kabut memakai telekung... Aliyah sayangkan Abg...

Abg yang disayangi,

cukuplah rasanya penilaian Aliyah. Kalau diungkap satu persatu, Aliyah tak terdaya. Abg lebih memahaminya. Ini penilaian selama 1 hari, Abg mungkin dapat membuat penilaian yang jauh lebih baik memandangkan Abg mengenalinya lebih dari Aliyah mengenalinya.

Abg yang dicintai,

Di dalam sampul ini ada borang keizinan berpoligami. Telah siap Aliyah tandatangan. Juga sekeping tiket penerbangan MAS ke Sarawak.Jika munajat Abg di Masjid Putra mengiayakan tindakan Abg ini, ambillah borang ini, isi dan pergilah kepada Qistina. Oh ya, lupa nak cakap, Qistina telah berada di sawarak. Menunggu Abg...Aliyah sayangkan Abg...

Tetapi jika Abg merasakan Qistina masih belum cukup hebat untuk dijadikan isteri Abg, pergilah cari wanita yang setanding dengan Aliyah...

Aliyah sayangkan Abg.

Tetapi, jika Abg merasakan Aliyah adalah isteri yang hebat untuk Abg.. tolonglah bukakan pintu bilik ni. Aliyah bawakan sarapan kegemaran Abg, roti canai..air tangan Aliyah.

Salam sayang,
Aliyah Najihah binti Mohd Hazery

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Tangannya pantas membuka pintu biliknya. Di situ berdiri Aliyah Najihah bersama-sama hidangan sarapan pagi kegemarannya. Dia tersenyum!

Benar, tiada isteri sehebat Aliyah isterinya!!!!!
____________________________________________________________________

Renung-renungkanlah.. ^_^
 

[WTB] PS2 Dance Mat/Pad

By Aiman Shaharuddin

Condition: New/Good
Price: Offer me

Sigh.. It's been awhile since I last "dance".. ^_^ Missed those days that I "dance" together with my friends.. Anyone out there want to offer me their dance pad for ps2.. 'cause I've been craving to play on it.. got the games.. but not the accessories..

 

In search of the shirt and the pants

By Aiman Shaharuddin
It's Thursday and as usual, I went to gym in the morning. I was planning to buy a shirt and a pair of pants from the Padini Concept Store. There's a 50% off. I wanted to buy it yesterday but the store closed early because of Chinese New Year. So I went again this morning after going to the gym. Then, guess what.. it was still closed. So I went to the store at the Curve instead. But again, the store was closed. Oh well, I'll go again tomorrow or maybe next week. Haha.
 

Happy Birthday My Love..

By Aiman Shaharuddin
Awak..

Happy 22nd Birthday.. I know it's a bit too late for me to put this up.. but I'm putting it up any way.. Sorry for not being there with you during your birthday.. And sorry for making you sad all this time..

Anyway.. I've sent you a poem that I found from the internet:

________________________________________________
Birthday Gift

There are things I'd like to say
to you my love on your special day:

I am forever thankful God sent you my way.

Like a gift from up above,
you showed me how it is to feel real love.
I know many mountains we've had to climb
and sometimes forever has seemed like a very long time.

Yes, we've endured our share of pain,
but together we have so much to gain.
Bigger mountains may lie ahead,
but together there is no hill we can not tread.

So always remember my love for you,
and there is nothing together we can not do.
I'll be here forever - my love is true.
The person beside me, that would be you.
written by Nina
________________________________________________

Also, I hope you like my gift.. I've planned it since last year.. Sorry for everything that I've put you through..

My Love.. ^_^

I really like it when you smile.. and
I love u so much awak..
 
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